Hope International Baptist Church was the church that I went to last week. The sermon this week was not very exegetical but it was pretty good. It was, more or less, on election and vocation and the pastor threw in some jokes about Charismatics, just to top things off. The problem with Charismatics, the pastor said, was that they thought they had the market cornered on the Holy Spirit, and they still didn't have the Spirit figured out at all. They thought that they had to climb up to God and beg Him for the Spirit (and he mimed climbing a ladder). "But that isn't how it is, is it?" he said. "Jacob didn't have to about worry about trying to climb a ladder to God, did he? God just reached down and smacked that ladder down right next to him and then He came down the ladder. How worried was Lazarus about getting some Spirit work? Not very--Jesus just showed up and called the Spirit down on him. . . . And what does God expect you to do, now that He showed up and and hit you with the Spirit? He expects you to work. And when you work, no matter what you do, then you glorify God, and that is your real job."
There was about 20 people there, this time. And it was fun to sit around and talk to everyone afterwards.
The Nigeran lady and her family who live in Zuid Rotterdam offered me a ride home again, which was really nice. She went to get her car and I waited with her mother and with her two little kids. The two little boys are bouncy little guys and they were running around and make a lot of noise. The grandmother wasn't able to make much of an impression on them (she is kind of the epitome of what I imagine an African grandmother to be. She even calls all of the ladies she talks to "Mma" like they do in "The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency"). Then the church caretaker came by and said that the boys should stop swinging on the doors and climbing on the tables and the grandma said he ought to tell the little boys, because they wouldn't listen to her and then she turned around and told the little two year-old, Eedie, "You better stop doing that right now or that ----- man is going to get you and get you good." (I couldn't tell for sure what she said but it sounded like she said "that white man is going to get you"). Well, the poor little guy just burst into tears and was standing there sobbing and the caretaker looked a little worried and he kind of took Eedie's hand as was patting it and telling him "Don't worry, I won't get you, it's okay . . ."
The Scottish Seaman's Church was quite the deal. The normal pastor was on vacation so the associate, lady pastor delivered the sermon. She looked an awful lot like Tyne Daley with really short hair. It was also the next to last day for the student preacher whose name is Debby Dobby. She looked an awful lot like Rachel Dracht. She was also really, really short--I am guessing significantly less than five feet. There was a large table at the front with a Bible on a bible stand and she stood there to read the scripture passage and you could just barely see her head.
The church was large: I am guessing the sanctuary is about the same size as Westminster's--a little longer but a little narrower as well and I would estimate there was about 130 people. The congregation was pretty typical--the older people were wearing suits and were all dressed up, the younger people were wearing jeans and t-shirts. There were also people wearing traditional Indian and African outfits. The church seemed like it couldn't make up it's mind between high-church and low-church. They used a beemer (Dutch for "projector") to put up all of the songs on the sanctuary wall as well as to put up announcements and picture slide shows. But the pastor was also wearing full white clerical robes and they were very fancy about a lot of stuff. I don't think that they were quite sure of what they were doing.
To start the service, everybody was sitting around waiting and then the pastor, from the back of the sanctuary, said "We're going to do things a little bit differently today" and then she proceeded to walk down the aisle, playing her guitar, and singing the call to worship, followed by about 6 people and the student pastor, who apparently made up the choir, and one lady who played the triangle. What made it even odder was that all of them (they were all ladies) were carrying their purses with them. The pastor just had a little shoulder bag but Debby Dobby had a giant white hand bag and she never put it down during the whole service. It was kind of unusual.
The sermon was on how you should only boast in Christ, which is a very worthy point. However, about 1/3 to 1/2 of the sermon was a list of things you shouldn't boast in, illustrated by a picture slideshow (It is nice to have a family but you shouldn't boast in them; it is nice to have a job but you shouldn't boast in it; etc). Then she said that you ought to be glad Jesus died for you. Which is very true. But she closed the sermon with a quote from Max Lucado as a "thought to take with you into the week." Lucado says: "if you need a self-esteem boost remember: 'The Maker of the Stars would rather die for you than live without you.'”
For communion, things were very fancy. They did the words of institution and then all of the elders took communion. Then they had the congregation come to the front and take communion and the pastor did little blessings on everyone and they had someone up front ringing a little bell periodically during the whole thing. I snuck out the back when they came to send my row up.
When I saw that there was a lady preacher I almost slipped out before the service started. But I had paid 2 euro to ride the metro to get to church and I hated to skip out on that, so I stayed. When I went in to the church, they asked me to sign the guest book. Which I did. I am nothing if not cooperative. Then the greeter asked why I was in town, where I was from, just general, friendly type stuff. Then I trotted up-stairs and thought nothing more of it. Well, during the morning announcements, Debby Dobby said "We want to extend a very special welcome to Hannah Schultz who is here from the U.S. We are very glad to have her here. Hannah, won't you stand up so everyone can greet you?"
So anyways, I don't plan on going back.
Aww. But they included you.
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